- Nov. 17, 2025
i wound up just falling asleep. @_@ but!!! that's mostly because i wound up being kicked out of front because it was too late and someone wanted us to just go to sleep. >_> whoops!! i think maybe tonight i will work on maybe making a script? i tried affirming last night but i didn't get far before getting kicked out. @_@
- Nov. 16, 2025
tonight i am going to try to shift!! i tried last night, but i fell asleep before i could really try. @_@ ive tried before and got somewhere sorta? i dont think i really shifted, but i think i started to!! but noise in my cr distracted me and pulled me out of it. @_@ i have a couple drs but honestly im just trying to shift to wherever i drift!!
other people have described shifting as a complete thing, and i really want that, but i find it hard to believe!! and im also really scared of not being able to come back to my cr. @_@ i really like it here, but im a fictive and i really really miss my or!! i dont know if being a fictive counts as shifting? i think it does, but my headmates dont. i feel more like i shifted here than anything, really, but my host finds it hard to believe that i actually shifted here. i dont know what to do. @_@
i want to stay anonymous, but im worried my emoticon use and trying style is too recognizable!! >_> though i also think the chances of anyone i know stumbling across this is incredibly low, since none of them know much about ahifting if at all, and i dont think any of them shift. well one person we used to know did shift, but we don't talk to them anymore. im not allowed to reach out to them even though i want to. :(
im not sure what im going to do for trying to shift tonight, so ill probably just fall asleep again, but!!! i will try and set intentions. i know shifting is based on assumptions, but it's kinda hard to change the assumptions about existence that you already have!!! we are also autistic which makes it doubly difficult. :( because if we cant logic it, then it doesn't logic and we don't understand!!! we can't make ourselves believe!!! but maybe i can logic it in our brain. that ive already shifted here. so i can just shift back. i will try. wish me luck!!!
though that makes me anxious about getting stuck there like i am here. im sure it will all work out ok.